Living at home for the past 17 years has not treated me well. I've gone through abuse (mostly mental though) from a young age. I really detest living here. I wake up happy to go to school cuz it means i will be away from here. At home i am not even allowed to be alone in my room for more than abt an hour. I get screamed at for listening to music. I get called bad, lazy, and other names. I try hard at school, my marks are usually in the 70s(B's?) and im trying hard for over 80's(A's) but it IS really hard and the only encouragement i get is my report thrown at me and the question “what is this shit?”. I've been suicidal. I've cut. But it doesnt help and i cant do it anymore. The only attention i get is when i do something wrong and get shouted at, and i dont do things wrong on purpose because i prefer being ignored to that bad attention. Im made to feel ugly and horrible, i dont know wat i've done wrong. My main goal is to get out of here, move out as soon as possible, get a job, be successful and never look back at this family again. I cant take it. But as of this moment, i dont know what to do , how to deal, i cant ignore them or channel them out, it doesnt work. Help.
I am sorry, for you have a tough time back home.
Listen, first of all. Please do NOT attempt suicide or anything of that sort. Its silly you know.
After reading this, I can relate much to my life. My childhood has not been like a fairy tale either.
I assume you are a teenager.
You know what, GOD loves you. Believe me HE does. Yes, again HE is the one who knows exactly what's happening with you and why. It is not for us to understand.
Grades do not matter unless you are sincere and hard-working. This is what stays with you whole life long.
Teenage is kinda crazy for all. Blame it on the hormones. We get rebellious. Parents and family starts behaving differently. We want to spend time with friends, dream a lot, go out and have fun. Its just how it goes. There is no answer/solution to it.
The best you could do is DISCUSS/SHARE. I do believe you have elders in your family or maybe elder siblings. Talk to them. I am sure they would listen to you. And since you know what makes a person mad, avoid doing those things. You do your bit, rest will follow.
One last thing. The feeling you have about leaving home, doing a job, and never getting back is temporary. Once you get into college or university, family is what will stay by your side.
Try not to harbor any hatred or ill-feelings against anyone. You will be at loss, and no one else. If a person is making you hate him/her that's his/her nature. You know yourself best. Don't follow their footsteps. Spread love, happiness, crack jokes even if you sound like an idiot. Things will change.
Take is easy. This too will pass.